Christmas is a time for family reconciliations and reunions

Speak your mind by Dr Guru Kistnasamy

Christmas is upon us. It is a time for shopping for food and drinks, buying gifts, visiting family and for celebrating. Although it may be a happy time for most families, sadly there are many families who are divided, separated, and whose members do not speak to each other.

Let us use this festive season to reconcile with family members, and let us arrange for family reunions. One of the biggest obstacles to reconciliation with many is pride and the reluctance to forgive. Be the  first to say, “I am sorry”, even though you may believe that it is not your fault. These magic words of apology work miracles.

Draw inspiration and be motivated by our late President Mandela. He was imprisoned for 27 years by the White apartheid government. Locked in prison, he saw many Christmases come and go. Lonely, without family, and without anybody to talk to, he silently reflected on how families outside his prison were uniting and celebrating. He could have become a bitter leader because of his incarceration and deprivation of freedom, but he chose not to.

Mandela forgave the people who imprisoned him and deprived him of the best years of his life. If he can do the almost impossible, why can’t we accomplish a comparatively simpler task, and that is to forgive and reconcile our families?

Here are some steps to mend a family feud (Ref. Huffington Post):

  • Get to the root of the rift. What started the whole drift?

Was it jealousy, was it about money or inheritance, was it control by you? Be honest and own up to your mistakes in the feud.

  • Step into the other person’s shoes.

Try to understand why the other person reacted as she or he did. Do not be judgmental. Consider what you did to contribute to the problem. Did you say something hurtful?

  • Consider the effects on the rest of the family.

Are you influencing your children, siblings or parents to keep away from somebody? Why deprive them of family association and peace? Remember it is not all about you. You are just an individual in a much larger family unit.

  • Choose to forgive.

Holding a grudge can destroy you emotionally. Forgive and set yourself free.

  • Stand up and be a hero.

Compromise. Stop blaming others. Swallow your pride. Begin the healing process today. I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a peaceful, loving and happy New Year.








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